Florida
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Aliens the movie
Topic: Living....Gettin By....
Well I have been in Florida for about 8 days now and... I guess I am getting used to the weather and used to life here. There was little to no adjustment for moving in with my girlfriend, but being away from Colorado and living with new people is something I have been adjusting to. I got out and looked for a job very little today, I think Brooke felt like shit, so I took her home so she could sleep and relax. She seems to like school a lot, that's good though, she needs to like it, she likes all her teachers. I still haven't spoke to my father, and have only really talked to my mom once or twice since we arrived, but I think things are fine. I am feeling short on money, but if I get in a sticky spot I can find some... Well my tummy has been kinda up and down since I arrived, but I am hopefull that it gets under control before to long, I hate being sick, well I better go love on my lover... JaDe

6 more days and counting........:D
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Some t.v.
Topic: BaBy CaKeS+CuDdLe KiTtEn
So yeah the christmas rush is on. It seems like all day was nothing but a race with no end. I am kinda hopefull that the next few days are that way, so that the time between now and when my baby arrives is short. I am very excitied about her arriving and about the move... I am almost completly packed and ready to go, but the swiss bag I ordered for the trip is not here yet so I can't pack up that stuff yet and I use this thing every damn day so I can't pack it either, but I do have 10 days untill we leave. I got a program for the trip that maps out the route and gives directions, so that there won't be any way we could get lost.

Anyhow I hope that my father isn't going to be around any time soon, even though I am sure that he will be in the area. I don't want to talk to him, or see him, I know it is just going to put more stress on me, and honestly there is no real substancual reason to see him... I've been thinking about that whole subject alot lately and I have come to the conclusion that there is no reason to be in his life or have him in mine. I know he isnt going to support me in what I do and there is no way that will make me any stronger of a person. I am tired of being the bigger person in the relationship and an not going to do it anymore. I love my family and know where I have come from and won't forget, but I feel like I am going to have to turn my back on that to be who I am... I guess I am just in thought about the whole thing, and don't know exactly what to think or do, time will only tell. I better go... JaDe

10 Days and Counting:D:D:D
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Eminem- Mosh
Topic: Living....Gettin By....
Well today marks 10 days till may babe gets here! I can't wait, I feel as thought it has been forever since I have last held her in my arms, eventhough it has only been about two months since I got back from Florida. The truck is all ready to go even washed, yesterday I made sure that the things going in the cab with us were going to fix with some extra room for the bags of clothing. The only things I have left to pack up are clothes, hats, shoes, and wall hangs. I am so excitied about moving! Tommorrow I am going to be getting rid of the extra funiture I have, a co-woker is gonna come over and pick them up. I still don't know how much I am going to make off them, but all the help is helpful.

Anyhow I wanted to take a minute to say that since I got back from Florida, I have been smoking less "stuff". I dunno if it is because I know I am not going to be able to smoke as much if any out in florida, or if I just feel like sobering up. I mean I do have to admit there was a reason I smoke bud, I feel like it helps me eat, helps keep my temper in check, and I like it. I mean I would give it up for Brooke, but right now... I think I am going to take advantage of liiving in a state where I can find and smoke. Oh well I better get going, gotta go to work them I am off for two days...YEAH!! JaDe

Re-energize
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Eminem- Mosh
Topic: Living....Gettin By....
Well I have to go off to work this morning, an tommorrow, and the next day, you know I don't know when my next day off is. It's ok thou, now that school is done work takes the front seat so I can make as much dough as possible before I leave for Florida. I can't wait to move, I am pretty damn tired of Colorado. Not that it is a bad place or anything, I just miss florida, I miss Brooke... Anyhoo I better run just wanted to say that Brooke and I have decided to take a different route to florida, taking about 4 days instead of 3 or so... Were are going to jet down into texas hit I-10 and hall balls across the nation to get to Florida. I am almost completly packed...Two Weeks,... that's all just two weeks.. JaDe

15 days and counting:D:D
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Surreal Times- Flava Flav is on this show...
Topic: Living....Gettin By....
Well today was a busy day.One of may really. I got the meds taken care of, so I won't have to worry about the whole meds thing once I get out to Florida. Also tommorrow the truck is going in to get looked over and have the work done to it. I am going to have them figure out what the hell this new sound is, I am almost positive that the muffler is lose or messed up or some shit, but it it don't need replaced I think Nick, Evan and I will just have to fix it instead of the shop, to save some money. SCHOOL IS OFFICALLY OVER for the semester for me. I turned in my last writting assignment tonight and now there is nothing to do, but hope I did better on my final then I feel like I did. Anyhow now I get on with the move, and work. I am trying to get in as many hours as possible. I just pray that there is nothing that goes wrong before the move. I so can't wait for this, I know that no matter what happens with getting there, it is going to be amazing every second. Even if the weather is shitty, the food sucks, and we run in to trouble... It will be ok, I am with my love and nothing can mes with that! Anyhoo.. LOl... I better go I am tired and wanna get off this computer.. JaDe

Walking Dead
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: LL Cool J- Zoom Zoom
Topic: Ugh...Life....
Well last night my loves and I had one of those serious, "No I am not going to just let this go." conversations. You know the way we do things makes me reassured that, whatever may come up between us is not going to be a huge problem. We can talk about things in a way that is perfect, respectful, and result getting. We listen to one another and we makes changes to accomidate each other. I was so happy at the end of the conversation that I thought I was going to cry. I mean I have never been so understanding and willing to talk things out as I am with Brooke. I want to understand her side and where her feelings are coming from. It makes me feel better about myself when I can do this. Anyhow I have my math final tonight, I am not really all that worried, I mean granity it's a final, but I am condient in failing it,,, I know hat sounds odd, but the credits are non-transferable so I guess it doesn't matter. I mean yeah I want to get a good grade and all, but I learned a lot this semester in math, and Nick keeps saying that second times the charm... LOL... anyhow I will give it my best effort and try, I ahve been studying all night, couldn't really sleep.. Wel gotta go to work... 21 more days of work and 17 till I see my lady!!!!:D JaDe

The days are counting down now...
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Ugh...Life....
Well we have about 18 days till me loves will be here in my arms. I have a feeling that the next couple of weeks are going to fly by, primarally because of all the work I have to do. I am looking forward to not working in retail anymore. At this point I could work on a pig farm shovling shit, and that would be more fun than retail. I'm just burnt out on it, it's one of those careers that you can only take so much of... Last night I went and smoked up with Alex, that kid from Texas I work with, and we sat around played Metal Gear Solid 3. Makes me miss my playstation 2. Anyhow him and I were talking about work and sales, and I came to the conclusion that I don't care who makes the money as long as we make goal. Lat month in commission pay I made 54. dollars, my other coworkers all made about 120 bucks... ANYONE see an imbalance there?? Anyhow I don't care because I am moving and won't have to sell luggage anymore!!!! I am so damn hapy about that, no more luggage, no more customers, yeah!!!!!

Anyow I am dealing with a lot of bullshit with my family and have come to the conclusion that I am never really gonna have a "good" relationship with any of them, especially since I am moving 2000 miles away from all of them. My father is moving back to COlorado from Kansas, he says he can't take the bullshit that is going on in this work place. See my father used to be an ag. tech...( And Argucultural Technition) and John Deere mechanic. He has been working for them since he was 17. a coupld of years before I moved out he messed up his back bad enough that his job was out of the question, no heavy lifting, no bending, all the normal things we so as humans. So after I moved out of his house he went to a parts postion and then he moved to Denver and started teaching John Deere programs at tech schools. Well a new one opened out in Fort Scott Kansas and he went there. I am almost sure that his attitude is costing him coworkers so he says since he can't get any help he isn't going to stick around there and do his thing. SO he is moving back on the exact dates that I am headed to Florida, Brooke and I will be driving about 5 miles south of his house and I hope he knows that because I am not going to stop in. I can't stand the games that they play with my brother and I. How they make my brother out to be some great big successful hero and I am just the nieve childish girl. Oh well I won't be there stupid little pawn anymore. I better get going I have somethings to do today and some studying to do... Peace...JaDe

And the final Answer is....
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Hellboy- the movie
Topic: BaBy CaKeS+CuDdLe KiTtEn
Well the last 48 hours have just about been the end of this poor girl. I mean let me explain. First the truck starts to break down, I have no money to fix that since I am saving to move in 27 days. Second work is shitty, all my coworkers are money hungry whores and fighting them for sales is the last thing I wish to do. I feel like I have been in like full speed for about a week, I haven't been feeling the best. And then I had to talk with my father, which as a result of the things he said I will no longer be on speaking terms with him. Once I move to Florida I am going to pay him the money I owe him and never speak to him again. I hate the shit he does to me. The stupid games and consequences of living my life the way I wish instead of doing what he says is best. I won't ever forgive him for the things he has done and the things he still does. He is moving back to Colorado, so my mom and Matt said that if my truck wasn't in running condition then they would just have me take Matt's CHevy pickup. I was literally floored when they said that, they said they were going to get me going when I said I was going to go and there were going to be no butts about it... I better go need a nap or something before work.. JaDe

Trucks and Bills
Mood:  blue
Topic: Living....Gettin By....
Well the slave cylindar on the truck went out. It is one of the many pieces inside my transmission, what I wasn't told was that the master cylinder is bad and need replaced and it needs a clutch kit. So needless to say I am waiting for a call back from my father about borrowing some money to get this thing fixed. The list of things that need to be done are: Master cylinder, clutch kit, power steering flush and fill, brake bleed and adjust, oil change, rotate tires, new spark plugs, new shocks, and a coolant flush. I have rounder up how much it may cost and I am looking at about another 2000 bucks. I don't know if my father is going to say yes or not, I guess if he does say he can not help me, I'm gonna start selling off my shit, pick up a second job working nights somewhere. I just feel like the whole world is pushing against me and won't let me do this. I'm not going to just stand by and let this shit happen, me not moving to where I want to be, that's just Bullshit. Well with asking my father for money I feel obligated to go see him on the way out to Florida. Not that I was trying to avoid him or anything, I just wasn't going to say anything to him till I was already out there. Now Brooke and I are going to see him, stay at his place for a night, and probably spend sometime with him... Sometimes I miss my dad, but I only miss the fact that my father made me feel loved. My mom has a tendency to make me feel like a fuck up, like I do nothing right and always always fuck things up and do them wrong. I think she looks at me and se nothing but my father and she divorced him for a reason. Anyhow the wait begins... I wonder if he is going to call back. Oh well I am gonna get dressed n cleaned up for work now...JaDe

TRUCKS and clutches
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: The News, god our world is a sad place...
Topic: Ugh...Life....
Well you know how things are when everything is going great, something has to go wrong. But on the brighter side I am glad the truck pulled this now instead of in Alabama or some shit like that. The slave plate got stuck because it was worn out, thus the clutch couldn't gain pressure to depress the clutch. See there is a long process that goes into a manual transmission other than just a clutch. It has gears, cramks, slaves, drains, and ofcourse the damn clutch. The mechanic said we should probably go ahead and do a clutch kit, but that takes about a grand to do, do I think we are going to wait on that, It is going to go eventually, but that will pry be after I sell her. You know I haven't ever owned a vehical other than her that has fit me so well. Well I need to study, today was long, good sales more money:D...JaDe

Let it snow let it snow let it snow....
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: South Park the Movie...hehe I visitied there once.. lol
Topic: Missing Florida & My Love
Well yesterday I was doing the mundane winter cleaning and had decided that I wanted to move my bed to a different locations to make moving a bit easier, anyhow I was pushing it in to it's corner when I fuck my knee all to hell. I think I pushed one of the pins out of place. Anyhow I ended up working a seven hour day on that, so I am very greatful to be home. PLus we got about 10 inches of snow last night and through out today so it was a bit diffucult to get around. I don't have a problem in the snow, I've been driving in snow since I was 12. My dad always thought it was a great idea to let the kids lay in the car in the snow. The only thing that kinda sucks about snow... It make me feel more alone. Like isolated. YOu can yell with snow on the ground in the mountains and hear nothing, unlike when there is no snow you can hear it echo for five minutes. You have a harded time seeing distances, the reflection of the snow is bright and irrating to a light eyes person like myself. Anyhow enough about that... WORK... well I have come to the conclusion that the next 30 days( which is how many I have left with this job) can't go fast enough. I am so tired of mediating the petty arguments that my co-workers seem to keep making my buisness. I could care less what they think of one another, I could not give a rats ass about how they get along, because IT WILL NO LONGER AFFECT ME!!!!!! I am so relieved to say that. It's hard enough for me to keep myself on the up and up and be positive at work, without having to keep my coworkers there too. Granite my bestfriend is being one of the biggest bitches I know, but that is her problem. If she wants to talk about something or needs a friend she would call me... But since we had our little fight she is being a bitch, then her boyfriend moved out of her apartment, and she has jut got worse... I hope she kicks the fucking attitude before someone kicks her in the head. She is creating conflicts with in the store and everyone is saying that she is acting like something... I say a bitch.... ANYHOW!!!!

I am still packing and selling things to make it out to florida. I am so missing florida... Missing my baby and her warm inbrace mainly, but i do miss florida also. I don't know if my baby is worried about anything, but one of my coworkers asked me today if I was scared at all... about anything about moving... I looked at her in the eye and with all the confidence I have ever had I said NO.. not a single worry. I am concerned about getting a job, but that is just going to be a matter of getting out there and getting one. I ahve looked on the net, but honestly I really don't want to ever work in retail again. Atleast not at a mall... I mean I am just to retailed out to do any more of that... I have plenty of work experience outside of retail, so I think I won't have to big a problem, plus persistance makes a bit easier also.:D I am looking forward to seeing my baby at night in the morning all the time... well I better go I wanna get somestudying done before I get a chance to talk to my lover... *Making snow angels tommorrow with the dog..wish her luck.:D*JaDe

30 more days, just 30
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Not a damn thing
Topic: Living....Gettin By....
Well today seemed like a normal day, but once it got started, it was a frantic race to the end of the day. I still kinda feel as thought I am on the go. I just hope tommorrow will be a better day, even though Murph's entire family is coming up and this house is gonna be packed. Oh well tis the holidays. You know the holidays have always been really shitty for me. One year my mom said she never wanted to see me, another my ex was cheating on me and I found out that day, another couple we didn't have a xmas, oh yeah and one year I got a hand me down computer and my brother got a brand new one. Yeah you could say the holidays have been pretty un happy for me. Many of them have been spent in my room hiding from the fights that we bound to happen or ignoring the people I don't know that I am forced to be around. Ok ok, I'll stop complaining now, it's just why should you look forward to the holidays if they are nothing but diapointing?? This year is different, I am moving a few days after xmas to be in the arms of my love. I can't wait to get life going there. I know that I am moving for the right reasons and that is the best choice I have ever made. I am having trouble telling my father about it, but i think it is more my issue than what he might make it out to be. I just know he is going to ask me, "Why are you moving to Florida??" YOu know I wanna say to get away from my family and all the Bullshit you put me through. Not that that is my reasoning, at all believe me, but it would jsut feel so damn good to say that. I don't know how I feel about him. Let's just say we have a nasty past that has never really been talked about, so needless to say yes I hold a bit of anger towards my father about it. I mean be acts like nothing ever happened and if we talk about me living with him, he always re-directs it back to something like my school, my brother, my coming to terms with my butchness, he just maks excuess instead of talking about it. ANd honestly I am a strong young lady and am more than capable of taking care of myself, but tring to bring that up with him is the last thing on earth that I would like to do. I don't want to scream and cry and re-live all that again... Ahhhh, maybe I will think about this shit later.

Anyhow I am very excitied about the move. I don't feel as stressed about it as I thought I would. You know it feels very refreshing to know that soon I will be somewhere different and somewhere I want to be. I long to be there with my lover simply because we feel so many of the same things, we think the same way, she's just so ment for me.. God I LOve Her with all my worth.. I better get some sleep the people are coming over early ro get drunk... JaDe

Let it Snow
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Akon- Locked Up
Topic: BaBy CaKeS+CuDdLe KiTtEn
It's snowing here. We got about two inches last night. Today we have our first ever sale on everything in the store, so today is gonna be out-of-control. Anyhow I did recieve very great news about the move, my mom is being alot more supportive than first thought. I was kinda concerned about that, but now I feel at ease. Anyhow in other news, my baby is having problems with her mom and her mother's flavor of the week. I wish I was there now so I could be there to comfort her while she needs it. I miss her tons and have to go this morning, hopefuly I will write more about today later. JaDe

Update
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Garbage #1 Crush
Topic: Me and My girlfriend
EXTRA EXTRA* READ ALL ABOUT IT Jo's moving to florida come christmas. I understand that this may seem a bit sudden considering the fact that Brooke and I have only been dating about 5 Months in December, and by our 6 Month Anniversary we'll be co-habitating together. We've decided to fly her out here on Christmas and her and I will make the 1900 mile drive to Florida to my new home. I am very excitied, I feel as though I am starting a new lifw with the woman of my dreams in "god's waiting room"..Haha... We've also decided to stop in and see my father before we get to florida. He is technically on the way to florida, but you know I dunno if this is really the best thing for me to do. I know my father and he will ask a million and one questions, and I am sure that my father is going to be abrasive towards Brooke. Not that he means to be to that way, he just isn't a very kind man, or in for that fact a man, but he is my father I would like to see if he would help me out financially untill I get off my feet in Florida. I just need his help with the insurances I am going to need. Anyhow I just hope that I get a chance to speak to him and set all this up before we get closer to the move. I've already started deciding what to take and what not to take. I am looking forward to this and just can't wait. I will talk with my father and explain it to him that I am coming with my girlfriend and obviosly I am very very serious about her or else I wouldn't be moving out to live with her, but I thik it will take a little explaining and worse case we will just leave I am not afraid to just walk away from him. As far as my mom and step dad, mom doesn't want to talk about it till gets closer to the date. I know this is going to hit her hard and matt as well. I am pretty sure that once I am out and on the road and they way the animal will react, will definently get to them and I will be recieving calls from them, asking how everything is and how things are going. Parents you gotta love them. They are also allowing me to store somethings her untill Brooke and I can get into a larger place. My mom keeps joking that in five years if things are going well and Brooke and I are still together then she will arrange those things comming out to me. I laugh, she knows I will fly her and matt out to come and stay and go to the beach. Well I should go I am talking with my lover now...JaDe

Random thoughts
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Starsky and Hutch the movie
So today was a regular day.. I have finally came to a conclusion about my butchness... Anyhow I will explain that whole thing in a minute. I miss my baby and can't wait for her to get here and visit me. Apparently she did some naughty shopping for xmas. Just having her here will be more than enough, but now she brings me these other wonderful delights, God what am I gonna do?? Probably have a heart attack, stroke, or something... Anyhow she called me last night and it was really nice to hear from her outta the blue. I guess she had other intentions on talking to me last night, but got some fright about the some company she had. I am glad that her buddy Jen is hang out with her while her grams and Brooks are outta town. I know she feels lonely in the house all alone.

Anyhow about this whole butch thing. recently I saw the movie "Boys don't cry", and had kind of a crisis after seeing it. More an internal fight than a crisis. It just made me feel, like I was lost in my own butchhood, and was un sure about how butch I really wanna be. I've read quite a bit about how other butch lesbians and what their views on "fitting in" with the rest of society. What I have basically learned in the reasearch, is that most "stone butch\bull butch" lesbians play up being a man as far as to pack and use the men's restroom. Some go as far as to take the steps to be come a man physically. Anyhow I thought about it for a long time before now, but now that I am in the relationship that I feel is going to be forever I find myself thinking about it a bit more than I would ever have given it thought. Anyhow what I do know is that 1. I don't want to go as far as to change my sex. 2.I feel there is no need to pack unless my Brooke n I were planing on using it. 3. I am confident in the place where I am in my butchhood. I don't want to be more butch than I am. I am still a woman and love my woman, and that is how it is going to be. I don't have any reason to change who I am, my baby loves me for me and why change that. I am happy with who I am even thought I wish I could wear the comfy men's clothes all the time I still am happy. I hope that there will be a time when that will be possible for me to wear what ever I feel I look beautiful\handsome in...

I MISS BROOKE>>BAD!!!!!!!!!TONS>>>>>!!!!!JaDe

Mood:  d'oh
Topic: Ugh...Life....
Ok so tonight I screwed up yet again and said something that made Brooke upset. I hate it when I do things like that. It was just so hard for me to think that this is the real thing, that Brooke isn't going to hurt me and to trust her. It hard for me to let that guard down and completly not think that there might be chace of something bad happening... I know Brooke isn't like that and I trust her, but what about those people? I know her judgement is good and that she wouldn't let herself get into any kinda situations like that. I guess they are just my own insecurities with the fact that I worry she might leave me. But why would she leave me?? I dunno maybe one day Brooke can beat that one into my head with the frying pan.... I wish I could sit at her feet and tell her that I am sorry about what I said. I do Trust her, with my life and soul so what more is there?? I love her unconditionally with no change except growth... well I am gonna go find something to do....JaDe

Celebrate Good Times C'mon
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: The Real World
Topic: BaBy CaKeS+CuDdLe KiTtEn
Ok so I need to study for a big test in Math, but I was looking at airline tickets for Brooke to come and see me around Christmas. And I got some good news, as long as we aren't particluar on which days we fly, we can get the ticket for under 400$. That is awsome because I know that the price of the tickets really bother Brooke. She feels as thou she isn't doing her part in this realtionship, but in all reality she is. She puts up with all of my weirdness that comes with being Jo and that is enough for me. She's so special and there will be time later to even the score, if she feels like that is what she needs to do. We are at different points in our lives and right now the situation calls for me to take care of these sorts of things, not that I don't want Brooke to do her part, might be niced for once, it's just the fact that money is short on her end and I work alot and this time of year I work hard and earn a lot of money so, why not spend that on bring my love to me?? ANyhow I am sure I will write somemore later, but gotta study now, JaDe

Goin to Hell in a Handbasket according to the Christian Gay Haters.. HAHA
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Law and Order- I love this show, the drama grabs you
Topic: BaBy CaKeS+CuDdLe KiTtEn
Well I have been back from florida for about 5 days now and here I am looking into more plane tickets. Brooke is concerned about the fact that it is a lot of money and I have bought the plane tickets so far, I try and try to reassure her about the fact that it's ok, it's not an issue with me about the money or who buys what. It's water under the bridge, Brooke means so much to me that if I had to live in a box for her, I would. I would hand the world on a gold platter to her if I could, so this measeally little plane ticket really does means nothing, except the fact that I get to soend more time with my love. I have found the love of my life, my soul mate and there is nothing in this world that will keep me from her and that is all she wrote, Ha... Anyhow I miss my baby and have been working on a little care package for her, but you know I wanna send her all my love in a box, but there isn't enough room in the world to put my love for her in a box. I'm hopeful that I can get something I like done before to long I know she is waiting for that package, so I need to get on that. PLus I have a big test in math comming up and I have a paper due in English. The overwhelming feelings haven't really set in yet, but I am sure as we get close to xmas and the end of the semester the stress with hit me. Anyhow I gotta go i think, I need to get to work now... JaDe

Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: The Waterboy the Movie
Topic: Missing Florida & My Love
Ok ok so I guess you all wanna know about Florida... Well where do I start?? OK well the flying was really fine, but next time I will probably do a non-stop flight. The flight back was a little bumpy, but the way out was just fine. I hardly slept the night before my flight out, so driving to the airport was interesting. Anyhow the flight back wasn't so great. To start right to start the trip, I check in electronically and am waiting with Brooke to have them call my name for my bag... They call an old lady she does her thing, then the lady looks at the tag.. I know it is me because me real first name is very confusing looking. Anyhow the lady just says my last name and then automatically ASSUMES that I am a guy, unsure if she looked before she called it out, when I placed my bag on the scale both Brooke and I were like "It's Ms. Kody"... Then she looks at me and askers me how old I am, right there I almost lose my temper, because you have to 16 to flight alone, WEll I am 22, so yes I was offended and flipped my id out at her, she really pissed me off first thing.. The flight back was very very bumpy, not to sure why I guessed the wind.. But it was bad enough I couldn't watch my DVD player...

So I go to Tampa, go to the terminal and called Brooke. I'm sure I sounded irrated, but I was just anxious to see her, then she turned around and saw me I hadn't seen her yet, then she said turn around, I sw her and I swear all the people in the airport disappeared and a glow had to have appeared around Brooke as my eyes layed down on her. We embraced and I felt as though time stood still. We got my luggage and got back to the house kinda late. SO we retired to her room, and got in a quick smoke before bed. I was so happy to be there I almost couldn't sleep, just staring into her eyes and watching her sleep. So we got up the next day and that was when she took me to go see the mantee's. It was awsome, I was speechless the whole time mainly in awww... And Brooke thinks I was being like a child, but I was really in that much amazement of the whole thing. Sometimes I could bearly speak I was so takin back by everything I was seeing and all the happiness.

The second day was the BBQ at mom's house. I was hesitate to come to any kinda conclusion about what this was gonna be like, from what brooke said I really had no idea of what to really expect. So we got there and her mom was ok. I mean yes I will admit that she is "different" but I have seen worse in my life, so it wasn't too different. Brooke said that it wasn't as bad as it could be, but you know I relized that by Brooke witnessing what things could possibly do to her self or what habits her mother has that maybe be heridiray, it made me feel more secure. Like how I am about drinking, my brother and I both know what drinking can do to a family and loved ones, what it can do to us, so there for we choose no to drink alcohol often. I've done the drug thing and so has Brooke so all that stuff is worked out. Anyhow Brooke and her mom swam in the pool, I just kinda lounged around by the pool, playing "pool service" for Brooke. Her mom got a kick out of me. Or atleast I think.

Enough about that, we did go down to Kissimee Florida. That is where all the attractions are at like Disney World, and all that, but I really wasn't to interested in that. YES I GOT US LOST. but I wasn't to scared, Brooke made me a little more nervouse about it, but I felt ok. We were basically in the ghetto, and I had to go into a gas station where I was the only white person in the neighborhood, and the only one in the store who wasn't buying phillies and beer. I laughed at that. We did make it to Brooke's Faviorte Adult store... Fairavilla Megastore, the place was ver large I was kinda taken back by that, I made my way over to the strap-ons and saw exactly what I was looking for. Brooke thinks I was being shy about it, but I just didn't wanna seem to eager about the whole thing. I just love to do new things with Brooke, and yay.. you can use your own mind. That night was absoutly amazing, I have never once experienced what I did that night with Brooke, the passion, the connection, the god.... Anyhow to make the story really funny... I ACCIDENTALY LEFT ONE OF THE PIECES TO THE "SET" IN THE ROOM IN KISSIMEE. So I am sure housekeeping had a nice time finding that and all the packaging in the trash.. LOL... Anhow we did have to make a second run into the ghetto, because the item we bought at didn't have the most important piece to the Damn thing, who the hell steal that outta the packaging?? I mean I can understand the whole thing the "undwear" and the "vac-u-lock" plug, but just the plug?? So we go to really nice adult store in the ghetto south of I4 on Orange Blossom TR, called Pleasures, plus the "underwear" part was leather instead of vinyl so it will hold up better to the years of use in front of it... LOL...

Anyhow we went to the Silver Springs park and rode the glass bottom boats and I took a bunch of pictures of the turqouise bottom and fish. The bottom of the springs in that color because of the limestone and snails shells, plus the water running thru there is 99.8% pure. That is still hard for me to think about what that really means, but it will set in soon. We got to see all kinda of wild life!!Did you know florida has tree frogs and they really only come out at night?? That was cool!! I got to see all kinds of things that i had never seen before! There was this aligator that was huge and everytime Brooke got near it, it would open up it's mouth... It was awsome!! We went to the Gulf and there were dolphines in the water I was swimming in!!! NO charge!! It was a bit cold for me to swim farther out to see if they would swim around me or not. And my love wasn't feeling the best so I took her home and I took care of her. Seeing the Gulf of Mexico was awsome!!! Even if it wasn't for like an intire day, I still had a Blast, I wish Brooke could have swam around with me.... But the last couple of days we spent just hanging out and spending that precious time together.

I am going to start looking into moving to Florida, seriously. I know that Brooke moving here is just not something we can do, but damn it would be so much easier on the two of us here. I mean down there with her degree she can barely find good work, where here I have seen so much for her I just wish it was something we could consider, but I unconditionally understand the cerconstances of the situatuion with her in Florida, but I would hope that she might consider moving back to Colorado at some time... Haven't asked yet tho.. Anyhow I biggest challenges with it is school and work. I have come to reliez that the job market there is not what it is here... So I worry about finding good employment, but I am going to think all of this thru really really well before I make the move. Anyhow I had better get some sleep, I still feel like I am on Florida time, but yet I have to operate on mountain time.. I work tommorrow and that is gonna be a long day.. I miss you baby with all my soul it hurts being away from her,
JaDe

Mood:  down
Topic: Missing Florida & My Love
I don't have much time since I have to jet off to work soon. But I just read by Love's blog for today and had to write something....
I had an amazing time in Florida and I know I seemed kinda child like, but I have never seen anything like that before in my life. And no this won't be the last time I go to Florida. I had an increditable time just being with my baby not to mention all the places she took me... I miss her so much, leaving was hard and I didn't want to do it... But I had to think logically about it. Now isn't right I have nothing prepared to move and am really not finaically stable enough yet.

Kissimee was amazing... That was THE MOST AMAZING NIGHT of my life... not because of what we did, but because of the fact that we were so... as one... damn thinking about it I am still so in awww.... Anyhow I thought I would let everyone know that I had an amazing time in Florida with my Baby... I love her, and leaving was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do...JaDe